Why do Star Wars games SUCK?

It's a very significant "tell" about my personality. But I really want to play Force Unleashed 2 right now. I played the into of it and had an absolute joygasm. But I couldn't play any farther. I didn't know the story and it looks so good I had to know it from the beginning.

So I started the first Force Unleashed. From the beginning

I HATE IT!

Well I hate the gameplay. I love the story I love the graphics, I love the music, I love the sound,  I love the saber battles. But the rest of it is just platform jumping trash. If I wanted to play Mario Brothers style jumping around, I'd play fracking Mario Brothers, not Star Wars.

Why is it every Star Wars game since the AMAZING Original Dark Forces, and TIE Fighter, Insists on being an elaborate version of Contra or Mario?

Now don't be offended if you love platform games. If it is your cup of tea, then more power to you. By all means enjoy...

But ALL the Star Wars games in this genre? Seriously?

Someone might want to mention the racing games about here, but don't bother. Trying to pander to the NASCAR crowd with racing games and Episode one racing is like inviting Jed Clampett to a $40,000 a plate banquet.

At any rate I've held my nose and played the game... and learning to like it despite.

After this I have to do the same thing to get to Mass Effect 2. Endure 1 for the story.

11 Ways I Am NOT Like Dan Halen!

 

11 Ways I Am Not Like Dan Halen!

1.   I never hid facts about my possessions:  No one ever asked me if my bone chess set was made of HUMAN bone or not.

2.   I have always been extremely generous. The fact its with other people’s money is irrelevant,

3.   I have never tried to cover up or conceal my age -  I do however find it offensive that no one ever considers is might be ANOTHER Maalac that signed Dan’s Yearbook.

4.   I do not constantly run around nude – Those charges were dismissed.

5.   Unlike Dan I have a large amount of  “junk”. My endowment is…O.K. you got me! On that one we are just alike in this one way.

6.   I do not belittle or mock my fellow man. That I do not feel completely deserve it

7.   I do not attempt to play God or pervert the laws of nature for profit. It is strictly for entertainment purposes with me.

8.   Unlike Dan I have never harmed an animal. I am SURE there is an animal I have not harmed out there (just waiting to be discovered).

9.   I have never owned a slave. All of mine are temps.

10.  I do not have a sinister laugh. Mine is more a laugh of malevolence.

11.  I do not have a field of sheriff clones. I think the common man’s vernacular for mine is “kitty” or something like that I don’t keep up with the utterances considered to be words that come out of those chitlin-smeared armpits that you call mouths.